Roundball Roundup

 

"I'm younger than that now."

"I'm younger than that now."

The following is the first installment in an NBA midweek recap feature. Blake Griffin did not make the cut… Get it? Cut?

Hornets center Hilton Armstrong is reevaluating his career decisions after being shipped to Sacramento for cash considerations and a 2016 conditional second-round pick. The Tuesday “trade” was more like a yard sale, except with yard sales 1) people don’t just let you take their crap and 2) 300-pound, stationary objects usually stay in the yard. 

Armstrong’s $3.8 contract expires in 3 months.

Takeaway question you should ponder: what are “cash considerations” and can I use them to pay my tuition?

Also Tuesday night, the Grizzlies topped the Clippers 104-102 in a game that included a mandatory arena evacuation. In the middle of the third quarter, a burst water line triggered FedEx Forum’s alarm system. The PA announcer directed fans to the nearest exit – not because of the busted pipe. He just assumed, “Hey, it’s Grizz-Clips. These poor people need a break.”

On Sunday, while LeBron was dropping 41 on Portland in the Rose Garden, color analyst Doris Burke was busy, in my mind, comparing her rugged good looks to a certain Titanic star. Are you like me, do you look at Burke and see Kate Winslet? And if so, does this say more about Doris or Kate?

Doris Burke

The debate nearly overshadowed the most important aspect of the Blazers-Cavs showdown. No, not LBJ’s throwback Nikes… Lebron’s sneaky cool mini-‘fro, which is undoubtedly the best old-school interpretation of said cut since Vinsanity rocked a similar style during the 2000 Summer Olympics. No word yet as to whether the King has jumped over Zydrunas Ilguaskas in practice.

Now would be a good time to call off those September Lakers-Celtics bets. The Hawks swept their three-game season series with Boston on Sunday and the Spurs pasted L.A. two nights later. “Foul,” you cry. “The Lakers were Pau-less, the Celts without KG.” I say injuries are part of the game. They better be healthy come mid-April.

Tim Duncan is decidedly not hurt. The Big Fundamental destroyed young pup Andrew Bynum on Tuesday with a 25-13-4-4. He’s one of three guys, along with Chris Bosh and Zach “Please, No More Fat Jokes” Randolph, that is averaging 20 points and 10 boards, and at 33 is putting together his finest statistical season since ’06-’07, when the Spurs won the last of their four titles. That Duncan is doing it while playing with the memory of Richard Jefferson makes the feat all the more impressive.

Sticking with old dudes, Dominque Wilkins hit 50 for the eighth time Wednesday. Happy birthday, ‘Nique. Here’s hoping the Human Highlight Reel, already snubbed once by the league, gets the due he deserves when the NBA announces its 100 at 100. Young Damien Wilkins, 30, is crossing his fingers.

And finally, Sean Elliot steals the spotlight in this week’s edition of Too Colorful Color Commentary. Here’s an actual snippet of what Elliot told play-by-play man Bill Land during NBA TV’s coverage of Spurs-Lakers:

“[Kobe Bryant] wants to see you vanquished. He wants to see your rotting corpse on the ground. And, you know, you want that in your star player.”

Land was quick to laugh off the comment, downplaying the idea that Kobe Bryant would ever actually kill someone.

– Robbie

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