Jamaican Ski Teams and Late Night Fights: An Unfocused Look at the Past Week in the World

 

Because we can’t cover everything, and we don’t work weekends, each Friday, Sports Casualties’ two co-authors will write two seperate reviews of the past week. These startling pieces of immediate nostalgia will cover whatever topics the writers care to include. Consider this a wallet-sized picture that you can carry with you the entire weekend to hold yourself over until Monday when we will be back and better than ever.

Holy “Cool Runnings” Batman! Jamaica has a ski team that is set to compete in the 2010 Winter Olympics. I acquired this knowledge while getting my weekly dose of punk rock culture by watching a late night showing of X-Games classics with Sal Masekela. Apparently this team formed a few years ago, but only one member, Errol Kerr, will be able to represent the land of “good party stuff” in Vancouver. Kerr is supposedly the only athlete to request a gift bag full of Cheetos, Doritos and Hot Pockets.

Two people got engaged at midfield of Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium this week. Those two people were Colt McCoy and Rachel Glandorf. McCoy apparently sat for most of the  national title game because nobody wants to propose in a sling.

Jose Canseco tapped into his inner Jimmy Duggan this week when he commented on the McGwire steroid hysteria by saying “there’s no crying in baseball, Mark.” While Canseco may be correct, I’m not sure there is any shamelessly self-promoting yourself on VH1’s myriad of bad reality shows, back-stabbing past friends in books to make some cash or embarrassing yourself by attempting to start an MMA career, in baseball either.

Skip Holtz is the new head football coach at the University of South Florida. I like this because I’m from Tampa and this increases my chances of seeing Lou Holtz around town which can only mean great and entertaining things.

A car ran into the UNC basketball team’s bus as they were arriving at Clemson University for a Tuesday night game. Once inside the arena, the Tar Heels were run over by the tractor trailer known as a lack of effort.

The highly anticipated (well, not really) “Blue Mountain State” debuted this week on Spike TV. It is awful. Don’t watch it. Moving on.

Estaban Ochocinco, known  to some as Chad, has supposedly planned an entire roadtrip for himself and a group of his followers on Twitter and Facebook. The trip begins in Cincinatti and has overnight stops in Atlanta, Orlando and Miami. All one has to do to be eligible for a spot on the trip is buy a $20 T-shirt. Background checks will apparently not be made.

URGENT DISCLAIMER: For the next little bit, Bryan is going to write about professional wrestling. What an inbred hillbilly, right? If you care to read, then do so. If not, then just try to avoid digesting the following words and I’ll tell you when it is safe to become literate again.

This week, former boxer/eternally crazy person Mike Tyson hosted WWE Monday Night Raw. As far as guest hosts go, Tyson was average. However, he did manage one great moment that reminded me of my childhood days when Tyson was a terrifying monster that kids legitimately thought could bust through their window at any moment.

In the larger world of professional wrestling, the WWE title match is set for the Royal Rumble, and it will be Randy Orton vs. Sheamus. Two heels at a pay-per-view? What is the creative team doing? I actually kind of like it. I’m personally kind of hoping that they go with a Randy Orton title change that ends up leading to a Kofi Kingston/Orton title feud going into Wrestlemania. Either way, the WWE has something fresh going for the first time in a while which I can admire.

On the other hand, TNA has decided that it wants to start officially warming a seat at the adults table. I personally enjoy TNA, but I’m not sure that they are going about it the right way. Sure, they may get short term viewers by having Scott Hall, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, etc. on air for a limited amount of time, but they still have to find a way to highlight the young stars to the maximum potential during all of this hype. Their next few pay-per-views will be huge for the direction and legitimacy of the company.

ALRIGHT CIVILIZED WORLD: It’s acceptable to look again now.

Finally, we come to the steel cage match that has taken over late night television. Jay Leno is no more at 10 P.M. which probably could have been noticed before he ever started at that time slot. For the first time ever, I have actually found Conan O’Brien enjoyable to watch the last few nights as he has really put a hillarious angle on this situation. The champion here though is Jimmy Kimmel, whose parodies of the Leno/O’Brien debacle have been outstanding. His Thursday night appearance on Leno’s show was some of the best awkward, uncomfortable humor that I have seen in a very long time.

AND NOW…(drum roll)

WHY I HAVE WRITER’S BLOCK: The Never-Ending Saga

In no specific order, and with no real explanation, this is my weekly look at some of the things that kept me distracted while I was trying to write.

A Wall Street Journal Blog Looks Into the Leno/Kimmel Interview

Clay Travis Says Goodbye to Tim Tebow

Enjoy your weekend.

-Bryan

 

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One response to “Jamaican Ski Teams and Late Night Fights: An Unfocused Look at the Past Week in the World

  1. Pingback: “Tennessee Coach” and Other Google Trends: The Week in Review, Redux « Sports Casualties

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