Holden Caulfield and Snowmobiles: An Unfocused Look at the Past Week in the World

 Because we can’t cover everything, and we don’t work weekends, each Friday, Sports Casualties’ two co-authors will write two seperate reviews of the past week. These startling pieces of immediate nostalgia will cover whatever topics the writers care to include. Consider this a wallet-sized picture that you can carry with you the entire weekend to hold yourself over until Monday when we will be back and better than ever.

Last week, Robbie Hilson officially made himself the Tim Russert of week recaps with his political take on Massachusetts. Today, I am just trying to take credit as a mere Brit Hume.

Tim Tebow has been in the news this week for reasons far seperated from football. Tebow is set to star alongside his mother in a Super Bowl commercial that is believed to carry a heavy pro-life message. I am very opionated on many things, but social politics are not included in that realm. The incoming commercial has ruffled the Birkenstocks of the left, leaving them screaming that the commercial is controversial and a disgrace to science. Now once again, I have little to no opinion on this issue. However, protesters should have a hard time listing controversy as the cause behind their fight when there are numerous erectile dysfunction and Plan B commercials dominating the advertising of NFL programming.

Watch out, Kiper. This is coming for you.

Tebow has also been a not-so-prominent name on the Mel Kiper circuit for his performances at Senior Bowl practices. Kiper has been making his daily news breaks over and over again that he has always been right, and Tebow will NEVER make it as an NFL quarterback. In the words of Robbie Hilson, “Vindication, Kiper! VINDICATION!” I’m not disagreeing with Kiper that Tebow currently has very unfavorable mechanics for the professional game. However, something about seeing Kiper stand up every day and say “I told you so!” like the overgrown 13-year-old girl that he is makes me want Tebow to somehow become Joe Monfreakingtana.

Not to stray too far away from political news, I watched about 35 minutes of the State of the Union Address on Wednesday night which I would assume is about 35 minutes more than any member of congress actually comprehended. The speech reminded me of a movie scene where the main character gets cornered by an angry mob and spends the next hour defending himself against all of the things that they are pissed about. Add about 565,987,452 phoney standing ovations and an angry female hyena in the background, and you have the 2010 State of the Union, an overwhelmingly defensive presentation.

Back to the far more important world of sports.

The woeful Nets used an inbound play designed by Don Franco, a self-described lifelong Nets fan, in a game against the Boston Celtics. The incident has become a divisive force in the Nets locker room where interim coach Kiki Vandeweghe has been trying to get the team to run the plays that he has designed for weeks.

The Winter X Games began on Thursday night. Yes, it is time for our bi-annual reminder that Sal Masekala is still employed by ESPN. Go Flying Tomato! The good fortunes of the United States rest on your every move…Okay, not really.

The Great Ginger Hope

Apparently Korean girl bands have a fascination with American football, and more specifically, the Iowa Hawkeyes. Some call this a coincidence, I call it proof that Kirk Ferentz is a proponent of global recruiting. The video really can’t be described in words. It has to be seen. Props to Deadspin for breaking this wonderful piece of Far-East culture.

Stephon Marbury arrived in China this week to begin playing with his new team. One can only expect this to be a short-term deal that ends in disaster. Marbury didn’t like playing basketball in New York, but he’s supposed to be eager about his time in Taiyuan? I personally think that Starbury has finally taken his Chris Tucker fanhood a little too far.

J.D. Salinger died on Thursday at the age of 91. Salinger will be best remembered to the public as the author of American classic “The Catcher in the Rye.” Salinger’s story of Holden Caulfield continues to captivate audiences of all ages, and really changed the way that many books were written. Salinger fought against a film adaptation of the book for most of his life. However, with Salinger now gone, one can only assume that Hollywood “suits” everywhere will be fighting to acquire the script for a movie. I’m loooking at you, Eric Murphy.

AND NOW…(drum roll)

WHY I HAVE WRITER’S BLOCK: The Never-Ending Saga

In no specific order, and with no real explanation, this is my weekly look at some of the things that kept me distracted while I was trying to write.

The last few minutes of a phenomenal match. Wrestling fan? Watch the whole thing , you’ll enjoy it. Not a wrestling fan? Skip to 4:50 and become one.

What to Watch on Television this Weekend

Because although we live in a country where we are free to watch whatever we want, deep down inside we still want people to tell us what to watch.

Winter X Games – All Weekend – ESPN/ESPN2/ABC

No matter how many times you see it, it’s enjoyable to watch guys do ridiculously dangerous things because they don’t want a “real job.” Backflips on snowmobiles, crazy spin thingies on snowboards, God bless Aspen.

Kansas vs. Kansas State – Saturday, 7 P.M. – ESPN

Great rivalry. Two very good teams. Every time that I have watched a game in Manhattan on television, it has seemed like the crowd was on top of the players. Very cool atmosphere. Great way to wind down your “Wow, I just drank way too much at Gasparilla today” evening.

WWE Royal Rumble – Sunday, 8 P.M. – Pay-Per-View

Yes, it’s wrestling, but the Royal Rumble is the best wrestling pay-per-view this side of Wrestlemania. This year features a solid undercard with Orton/Sheamus, Undertaker/Mysterio title matches. Of course, the main event is the show’s name-sake which features 30 wrestlers trying to be the last man standing to earn a main event title shot at Wrestlemania. Plenty of great storylines amongst the 30 wrestlers as well. Great setup by WWE.

Chowdown Countdown Finale – Sunday, 9 P.M. – Travel Channel

No, I’m not including the Pro Bowl because, quite honestly, that game bores me to tears. I’ll have an eye on it while viewing the Rumble at Primetime Sports Bar. However, if you do not care for wrestling or the cost of a pay-per-view, the thing to watch is the finale of Travel Channel’s addicting series “Chowdown Countdown.” If you haven’t seen it, you need to. The show is basically a roadtrip tour of the best “Mom and Pop”-style restaurants across the country. Great stuff.

Have a convivial weeekend.



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One response to “Holden Caulfield and Snowmobiles: An Unfocused Look at the Past Week in the World

  1. Pingback: “Obama State of the Union Address” and Other Google Trends: The Week in Review, Redux « Sports Casualties

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