Strasburgisms

 

 

Stephen Strasburg, with personal assistant Ryan Zimmerman.

Like Tebowisms, Heywardisms and Longoriaisms, except better.

  • Stephen Strasburg once struck out former San Diego State coach Tony Gwynn… in 1993.
  • In his final collegiate home start, Strasburg fanned 17 Air Force batters en route to his first no-hitter, or as Strasburg likes to call them, “Strasburgs.”
  • Stephen Strasburg’s name once appeared in the same sentence with Braves phenom Jason Heyward. It was a typo, but still.
  • Stephen Strasburg doesn’t always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis. 
  • As a junior in college, Strasburg threw a pitch 103 mph, joining relievers Matt Anderson, Mark Wohlers and Joel Zumaya as the only men to do so. Strasburg said afterward that he was experimenting with a circle-change. 
  • Known for an explosive fastball, Stephen Strasburg also throws two kinds of breaking pitches – one that curves and one that breaks the catcher’s hand.
  • At 6’4″, 220 pounds, Strasburg has a commanding presence both on and off the mound, so much so that he once resisted the advances of a drunken Ben Roethlisberger. 
  • As a sophomore at West Hills High in Santee, Calif., a 16-year-old Strasburg tried to sneak into a bar with a fake ID. The bouncer asked him for a second form of identification, but Strasburg said he did not have a passport. Days later, the Montreal Expos moved to Washington. 
  • In his first start in the ’08 Olympics, Strasburg held the Netherlands to 1 hit over 7 innings. Citing an unfair advantage, the IOC voted baseball out of the 2012 games.
  • Strasburg experienced mild tightness in his shoulder this spring during a bullpen session at Nationals Park. In a panic and unaware of his $15.1 million contract, Congress resorted to reconcilation to pass universal health care. Said President Obama, “It’s better to be safe than sorry.”
  • Though a native of San Diego, Strasburg never took up surfing, indicating tendency to “walk on water” as a major impediment.
  • Though many assume it was Nationals brass who decided to start Strasburg’s 2010 campaign in Double-A Harrisburg, his demotion was in fact the work of Major League Baseball, which banned the pitcher for 50 games after he tested positive for awesomeness. 

Suggestions welcomed. Any and all will be added.

– Robbie

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