The New York Knicks’ Plan B: “God, if you’re listening…”

Little help!

I’ve had 12:01 a.m., Thursday, July 1 marked on my calendar for 11 months. Guess what time it is.

Hypothetical scenario…

You’re surrounded by a group of beautiful women who are 1) throwing themselves at you 2) cash-flushed sugar mommas 3) clingy, but so hot it doesn’t matter 4) want to spend the next six years of their lives with you, and 5) willing to bring in another “playmate” to keep this relationship fresh.

You’ve played the field for a couple months now, but at this point you’re ready to settle down. And not only that – you want a trophy wife. You want the girl that completes you, that makes people say out loud when you walk down the street,”That guy is the f*ckin’ man.”

So now let’s say one of these women approaches and asks you if she has a chance. Do you say:

A) Girl, you cannot be serious right now.

B) If you’d seen the other ladies I’m talking to, you would not even be asking this question.

C) Hell no.

D) This is a joke, right?

E) Girl, you don’t know how fine you are. A chance? You’re at the top of the list! (*double dimple grin*)

Bingo, Dr. Love… Then we agree that Chris Bosh telling the Miami Heat as much at a charity golf tournament Saturday means absolutely nothing. And, similarly, that an unsubstantiated rumor – perhaps floated by LeBron’s whoring entourage, yet still reported by the New York Times – that LBJ and Bosh to Chicago “is a done deal” is just that… Unsubstantiated and rumor. We agree that no matter what Stephen A. Smith falsely reports, none of the big time free agents sure to ink a fat (like buy-African-nation fat) contract in the next two weeks would say anything other than “yeah, I’m listening” at this point. The time for burning bridges begins tomorrow morning. All the other fodder you can more or less discard.

"Chris, picture me on South Beach with D-Wade. Sexy."

I share the above with you to cover my ass for everything to follow, because it’s quite possible that all the “sure things” and “absolute locks” we’ve heard regarding The Mythical July 1 are nothing but a steaming heap of BS glossed over by a bunch of money grubbing agents and freewheeling power brokers. It’s quite possible that the New York Knicks do have a legitimately awesome pitch to land James or Wade or Bosh – that they aren’t days away from cementing the “over promise/under deliver” hook in Jay-Z’s next smash single. It’s possible, at least, that Donnie Walsh and James Dolan don’t really have their pants around their ankles with fingers crossed for ‘Melo 2012.

It’s possible.

But as we approach early Thursday, it looks increasingly more like New York severely overestimated its Big Apple cache and the value of its few building blocks (or are those plastic Legos?). Look, I like Danilo Gallinari as much as the next guy, but being the Michelob Light in a cooler full of Natty is no great distinction.

The Knicks appear to have screwed this up so badly as to make Plaxico Burress’ pocket-on-leg violence look positively genius in comparison. Here’s where we stand as of 6:13 p.m. on Wednesday evening.

LeBron, the Alpha Domino, has most likely whittled down his choices to Chicago (a lock according to the Times), Miami (highly likely according to Stephen A.), and Cleveland (a sure thing according to Veep Joe Biden).

My bet.

Dwyane Wade, who apparently hosted a LeBosh summit over the weekend, now says that everything must be exactly right to re-up in the 305. Conflicting reports also suggest that Wade’s flirting with Boozer and that he wasn’t even in Miami this weekend.

Chris Bosh, the consensus No. 3 for scouts who like losers, shot the Holy-Trinity-to-South-Beach notion to hell this afternoon when he told ESPN that Wade/LeBron/Bosh together is “pie in the sky.” Pat Riley just threw up in his mouth a little. Toronto’s currently exploring a sign and trade for Bosh and I suspect that if he’s indeed hitching his wagon to LeBron, he’ll end up in Chicago for Gator great Joakim Noah and the Remains of Luol Deng. If he’s not, Raptors’ GM Bryan “If My House Was On Fire, I’d Grab the Marshmallows” Colangelo would do well to hit up the Gold and Purple for Andrew Bynum and Klomar. Can you imagine the Kardashians in Canada? I can. And it spells less TV time. Make this happen, Mitch Kupchak.

Joe Johnson, who might’ve cost himself a bazillion dollars had anybody watched Hawks/Magic, is busy giving Mike D’Antoni a crazy case of the “Oh Shits,” as he’s mulling a freshly minted max offer via Atlanta. This seemed like an impossibility just two months ago, but Hawks management has since brain-teased itself into thinking that Joe Johnson doesn’t suck come crunch time. A day ago, we were speculating about Amare Stoudemire/JJ to New York as part of newly constituted Suns West. Worst case scenario for the LBJ-less Knicks, right? Wrong, says Atlanta’s some $119 million change of plans.

Amare Stoudemire, who scoffed at the remaining $18 mill on his Phoenix deal some hours ago, looks more and more like Miami’s fallback guy… which is curious given that Riles wouldn’t trade pot fiend/headcase/underachiever/Sponge Bob enthusiast Michael Beasley for him at the deadline. Amare’s still negotiating with Phoenix, but “negotiating” implies no max. He’s not going to find a better or more unselfish wingman than Stephen A. Nash, but he will find more money and maybe an old coach in D’Antoni. New York better be all over this because Amare might be their only way to save face. Too bad Walsh just passed on a scheduled chat to woo Johnson instead. Nice move, Donnie.

Carlos Boozer is Carlos Boozer, so I’m not going to spend much time on him. He’ll take your team to the second round of the playoffs, but only if armed with the best point guard in basketball. He’s interested in Miami, New Jersey and Chicago… and Miami, New Jersey and Chicago – bless their souls – are interested in him.

Dirk Nowitzki just flew back from Germany to negotiate with Dallas. “This is a very good sign,” according to Mavs camp. And a lucrative sign, I imagine, for Dirk to pass up a mid-summer frolic with blond, blue-eyed ice queens. He stays.

Carmelo Anthony, who can’t opt out until Strike Year 2012, wants in on the fun and has thus hinted to Denver that it can take its 3-year, $65 million and shove it. The Denver Post reported today that both ‘Melo and the Nuggs are open to a trade. Hello, New York! Just kidding. It’s a possibility, but I have trouble believing Denver can’t get something better than Gallinari and Gallinari’s Posse Italiano for a top seven player in the league. Maybe if they throw in Al Harringon? Nah, that’s a joke too.

Asleep at the wheel.

So I guess my question to you, the New Yorker, is this: how do you feel about Nike’s Rudy Gay/David Lee/D-Gal banner on the side of the Empire State Building? Would you prefer Darren Collison/Anthony Randolph/Peja Stojakovic? Do you wanna just give up on this whole basketball thing altogether?

Last week, Coach D told reporters about the Knicks’ typically crappy draft, “Our big date is circled as July 1.” You’ve heard this before – hype, promise, return to glory. Here’s the problem: every GM and his mother is pushing the exact same thing. We’ve long known that some team walks from this free-for-all star grab empty handed. And if you had to put money on it right now, you’d bet on the team that’s built a franchise on 10 years worth of colossal eff ups – the team that traded away it’s 2010 first rounder to the Jazz, its ’09, ’11 and ’12 picks to the Rockets, gave away Nene and Trevor Ariza, took on T-Mac as future sign-and-trade bait, and is still paying human pin cushion Eddy Curry $11.3 million.

Cap guru Walsh did his job, admirably finagling $32 million in free agent dolla dolla bills even with Curry’s disastrous contract on the books for next year. This money was for King James and Pippen Comparable. Maybe it still is. But at this point, all signs point to spectacular failure for a braintrust who gave the finger to contingency in favor of pushing chips all in.

Say a little prayer for Spike Lee tonight.

– Robbie

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “The New York Knicks’ Plan B: “God, if you’re listening…”

  1. Keith

    The problem with your entire premise of “…if you had to put money on it right now, you’d bet on the team that’s built a franchise on 10 years worth of colossal eff ups…” is that’s it completely ignores the fact that the organization has been run well since Donnie Walsh took over. The regimes that effed everything up are gone.

    Say what you want about their “typically crappy drafts” but Gallo is a sharpshooter and showed a mean competitive streak last year. Toney Douglas was an inspired addition, playing very good defense and showing the ability to knock down a 3. Wilson Chandler, when healthy, has shown an ability to get to the rim. Finally, there is Bill Walker, a former college star who blew his knee out and showed some serious ability last year. The knee is supposedly all better and he’s allegedly shed all the weight he added while recuperating.

    In short, the organization is much better run than it has been. Further, this is NYC not Detroit or even Orlando. NYC is the capital of the world and the Knicks can offer LeBron something no one else can: an opportunity to achieve his dream of being a Global Icon and the ability to play in the World’s Most Famous Arena filled to the gills with rabid Knicks fans. I went to many games this past decade and the fans were always into the games and James got a taste of this every time he came to MSG.

    I’m not saying LeBron to the Knicks happens, but I doubt the Knicks leave empty handed. Again, this is NYC. And if your doomsday scenario does pan out, there are worse things to have than a ton of cap space and an owner with deep coffers. Expect Donnie to sign a less prolific free agent or two, bank that cap space and then look to make a big trade or just wait until next offseason. The Knicks are relevant again, no matter what happens this offseason.

    • Keith, you had me up until Bill Walker. If I recall correctly, he was the 12th or so man on last year’s Boston team. That aside (and I’m kind of joking about Walker – maybe he pans out for you), I take issue with several of Walsh’s deals and the notion that somebody big is coming to New York just because it’s New York.

      Donnie had absolutely no backup plan in place for last year’s draft when Rubio, Flynn, Evans and Curry all came off the board before the Knicks selected. So he basically gave away a top 10 pick (which he eventually did at the deadline – we’ll get to that) by taking Jordan Hill… Would you be excited if Brandon Jennings was in a Knicks uni right now? Then you guys got absolutely undressed at the deadline, and ultimately gave away Hill (’09 pick), your ’12 first rounder AND the rights to swap picks in ’11. If you want to go back a year, you could have (and should have) dumped Nate Robinson and J. Jeffries on the Kings for Kenny Thomas, who’s contract just expired. That move was on the table.

      As far as this year’s draft goes, you passed on Lance “Mr. Upside” Stephenson for Andy Rautins. You’re probably not finding a worthwhile player at no. 38 anyway, so don’t you take the guy with “character issues” and all the talent in the world and hope he pans out?

      Again, neither of us knows how this all plays out, but I stand by what I said – this does not look good for New York, especially now that Johnson looks to be signing with Atlanta.

      Thanks for chiming in. I appreciate you reading.

      Robbie

      • qbytheU

        If you look at all the scenarios, the Heat continue to be in the best position – if King James defects from Cleveland – for two reasons…Riles and DWade. They have both proven that they can win a championship and unlike most of the other free agents, DWade ain’t going far from Ocean Boulevard. There is still a good chance that KJ stays home with Lord Byron coming to town.

        KJ2MIA

        • I’ll maintain that if the King is leaving, he’s going to Chicago – who could conceivably fit him with Derrick Rose, Joakim Noah, Chris Bush AND whatever Paxson could get for Luol Deng.

          Kind of surprised Byron didn’t land in Miami a couple of years ago. He’s got the L.A. connection with Riles and loves Coral Gables (as evidenced by multiple Riv appearances). Wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up on South Beach when Riley calls it a day.

  2. Very well written article and a great blog you got over here! I think it is foolish for the Knicks to take on Amare if they want to win an NBA championship. He is obviously very talented but I think that there are a lot of flaws in his game that won’t allow his team to translate to an NBA championship. Also, you think you could check out my blog cuz I really want to know what you think. http://chrisross91.wordpress.com/2010/07/02/take-a-stupid-pill-sign-amare/

    • Thanks a lot, Chris. And I agree with your Stoudemire sentiments. Hard to build a championship caliber team around a guy who shows no interest in defense. Plus, you gotta worry about the knee if you sign him to a long-term deal.
      I appreciate the link. I’ll definitely check you out.

      Robbie

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