Witness: An Unfocused Look at the Past Week in the World


Not sure exactly what happened this week. Thanks, LeBron. Robbie is already here.

A part of me doesn’t even want to write the major portion of this Week in Review that I am about to type. After all, you’ve seen enough about it, you’ve read enough about it and you’re probably as generally disgusted as I am… But I have to do it.

Thursday night, LeBron James engraved his spot as the most self-centered, egotistical and bloviating athlete in sports.

I’d agree with the comments of my esteemed co-author and say that this entire thing made me sick, but that would not be entirely true. You see I make it pretty clear around here that I am not much of a fan of the NBA, so for me, this was something of an “I told you so” moment.

What was last year a slightly above-average Heat team will now become the official all-or-nothing championship seekers because of two additional names. Not quite as bad as the Celtics in the past but still proof that free agency has corrupted basketball more than any other sport.

Before the LeBron variety hour began, I made a comment saying that I would respect James much more if he stayed in Cleveland, but I admitted that it was not necessarily what I wanted to see happen.

In a way, I was pulling for him to change but not because of some rooting interest or desire to see him win a title. I was pulling for change the same way that I pull for narcissistic reality show families to fall apart into cold pieces. I wanted chaos, and I got it.

Too easy.

The funny thing about this hysteria is that it really should have surprised no one.

As most know, LeBron James was born and raised in Akron, Ohio, just 39 miles south of Cleveland. Now I know that many people feel differently about hometowns, I can only speak for myself when I say that mine means everything to me.

But for LeBron that was never the case. He grew up the epitome of a gutless, bandwagon sports fan. He was a “loyal” fan of the Chicago Bulls, New York Yankees and the Dallas Cowboys, three franchises that have won a combined 14 championships during LeBron’s life. The definition of a bandwagon sports fan.

"Suck it, Cleveland!"

So when it came time to make a “decision” on Thursday night, it was only appropriate that he went with the bandwagon choice.

Lane Kiffin received tons of public hatred in January when he left a town that he had no real personal relationship with to return to coaching at a school of which he was familiar.

On Thursday night, LeBron James burned the only community that he has ever truly known to the ground and relieved himself on its ashes. He is the biggest traitor in sports.

As James said toward the end of his nauseating run of the some of the worst television in recent memory, he did “what was best for LeBron James.” Maybe he did do what was best for the happy-to-be-third-person-referential athlete, but there is no denying what he did to Cleveland. The city where he once had the opportunity to be an iconic figure and do something special is left deserted. There is no dream team, no South Beach celebrations, no sun-kissed celebrities lining up to buy courtside season tickets.

No, there are blue-collar people left dazed by a man that they once called a civic hero. They have nothing but an angry demeanor, a giant LeBron “WITNESS” billboard taunting their every move and an owner making empty promises to try and keep attendance over 10,000 next season.

Pain, thy name is Cleveland.

LeBron said he doesn’t expect Cavs fans to give him a warm welcome whenever he returns to Cleveland in a Heat uniform. Uh, you’re damn right.

I hope he gets showered with boos everytime he touches the ball. I hope he tries to do his little chalk trick and gets splattered with $8 beers. I hope the Cavs beat the living hell out of him.

Because what he did was wrong.

With just over one hour of self-congragulatory programming, LeBron went from being a well-liked figure in the NBA to public enemy No. 1 in many circles. Everyone except Heat fans likely left last night with a distaste for LeBron James, and even they were probably pretty sick of him until he said that he would be “taking his talents to South Beach.” He will be hated in a vast majority of the arenas that he travels to next season, something that is new for him.

In case the past 686 words haven’t made you feel the need for a shower, the Yankees are reportedly very close to bringing in Cliff Lee.

Much like Robbie, I don’t feel the desire to talk about much else, but I’ll do it anyways.

Jeremy Green, ESPN scouting analyst and the son of Dennis Green, was arrested Thursday on charges of both child pornography and a variety of drug charges. In Green’s defense, scouting is part of his job description.

Seven to 10 Tennessee Volunteer football players were involved in an eight to 11 man fight inside Cumberland Avenue’s own Bar Knoxville on Thursday night. The group of underachieving football players reportedly beat up on one man inside the bar, a “fight” that culminated with players attempting to swing bar stools.

Oh, Bar Knox.

Once the fight was broken up, they of course did what all logical college athletes would do. They went outside and stomped down an off-duty police officer in the middle of Cumberland Avenue. Head coach Derek Dooley pretended to be disappointed when asked about the incident, but did ask for permission to make next season’s Florida game an 11-on-1 handicap match to bring out his team’s strengths.

On Sunday, the Netherlands and Spain will meet in the 2010 edition of the World Cup final. I’m pulling for Netherlands, but mainly just because I want to see live video of the Red Light District looking like my local shopping mall on Black Friday.

A team that may or may not play roughly 30 minutes from my house is on a five-game winning streak, but I refuse to mention its name in fear of the SC Jinx. If they don’t win tonight, I will consider never even giving this much of a mention about them on SC ever again.



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4 responses to “Witness: An Unfocused Look at the Past Week in the World

  1. It pains me to say that you are correct, and where we disagree, I’m in the minority. What’s most striking to me is how poorly the switch was handled… This is what happens when you surround yourself with 25-year-old “advisors.” You go from being an icon to the most hated man in sports overnight. Unreal.

  2. Rory Mcilroy is not Scottish you prick! He is from Holywood…. NORTHERN IRELAND! Get your facts right

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